she smelled like a LAN party
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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