I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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