how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
