So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
