took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
