That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
