fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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