i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
