I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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