I wanna passion pit in your ass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my shit smells like andre
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
