At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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