the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
