you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
