I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
