People in love make me want to vomit
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
false alarm, still single
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