Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
