the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
