I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
