you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
