I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
