Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
