that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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