He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
