It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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