Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
