hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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