well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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