You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
