whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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