You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
