I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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