i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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