Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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