My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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