I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
