dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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