he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
