So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
