We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
