SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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