This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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