Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
