I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
