Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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