just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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