is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
