Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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