Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
