Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
