Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i out mim tonsoeep
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