You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
