We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
