Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Barsexuality is the new black.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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